admin, Author at Senior News Daily

19Jan

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Less Facebook, more face to face

I had a question for our accountant, a long time friend who has been doing our tax return for more than twenty years. As if on automatic pilot I began to write him an email.Then it dawned on me. I know this man. I have a relationship with him. What is keeping me from calling him personally and saying hello and exchanging pleasantries? I admonished myself. Yes, there was a business component to the call but also years of sharing information about family and mutual friends. An email was hardly the medium to acknowledge our friendship and catch up with the type of information families typically exchange.It takes the spoken word to deepen our understanding of others and give personal strength to relationships. When I was growing up a...

8Jan

By adminNo Comments

Blog

Time to sum up, and move on

The value of looking back at life’s triumphs and heartbreaks comes from identifying with the yearning child and angst-driven teenager but doing so from the perspective of an adult with few illusions. From a distance, detached from the event, we can see the nuances at the periphery of what took place. The lessons are there.We are able to recognize how the wounded feelings of childhood influenced the modus operandi as we navigated our way through life. And we are able to effect change going forward, choosing to behave differently rather than being stuck on automatic pilot.I’ve learned the value of making amends. The resolution is quite different when you step up and take responsibility for your actions, rather than simply apologizing. You own your b...

29Dec

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Blog

One man’s work is everyman’s work

The world is polarized, extreme positions characterizing virtually every issue. In politics, it’s Progressives versus the alt-Right, their viewpoints frozen and unyielding be it climate change, gun control, immigration… each side obstinately holding tight to their entrenched belief; unwilling to compromise; insisting on all or nothing. Sadly, with this hard linein place how can there be movement toward a satisfactory resolution of any of the many crises’s the world faces?Here’s my formula for peace. Simply blind fold the adversaries, seat them in a circle and have them share their stories.Instruct them to start with the current issues that bedevil them; then guide them to remember the traumas of their childhood and the events of the past that must be left beh...

18Dec

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Blog

Mindful Monday – Hearts open at 4am

Black Friday, Gray Thursday, Cyber Tuesday, Small Business Saturday… I was struck by the onslaught of ‘special’ shopping days when stores open at ungodly early hours to offer consumers holiday bargains. Now I’m not one to refuse a good deal when I see one, so no hectoring here about the true spirit of the holiday. Instead, I propose we borrow a page from the big box stores and create a new day for finding the best gift in the world at a price that can’t be beat. Let’s call it Mindful Monday – Hearts Open between 4am and 7am.The fact is, and really there is no refuting it, the gift that means the most can’t be bought. It’s called happiness. And it’s free. And it’s available! And it’s yours to enjoy on Mindful Monday (or True Self Tuesday an...

13Dec

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Blog

“However fast you run, you cannot run away from your own feet”

I am trying mightily to stay on the path that leads to happiness, but that old saw of a headline is a constant reminder of how easy it is to trip myself up and fall on my ass.It is clear I am my own worst enemy, some unresolved aspect of my ego lurking in the shadows like a film noir saboteur who foils the happy ending. Looking back on a timeline strewn with potholes of my own making I can see the pattern clearly. So many no-win imbroglios that brought me to grief!What causes someone to knowingly trip up their chance at long term happiness?I’ve heard all kinds of theories as to why I’m prone to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, deliberately creating discord at the most harmonious of times. My analyst came up with the Freudian triangle; my psychologi...

3Dec

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Blog

Can we change who we were born to be?

Did you ever hear of the Dr. Moreof theory of aging? “Whatever you are when you are young, you’ll be more of when you are old.”Of course Dr. Moreof is bogus. But when some stereotype of a crabby old guy or grumpy grandma shows up on an awful sitcom, it’s no wonder we elders are thought of as cucumbers turned sour after too long in the brine; cantankerous, smelling slightly rancid and what’s more, bad drivers with small dogs.I prefer the theory of Dr. Canbealtered: “Whatever you are when you are young, can be altered when you are old.”As all of us were, I grew into adulthood ordained by genetics and shaped by environment. The result was ill-defined and flawed, biased by childhood conditioning that created fixed ways of responding to triggers that typically...

23Nov

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Blog

The annual holiday emotions

A post on Thanksgiving Day should be a slam dunk. Conjure up the Norman Rockwell painting, make up a list of all the things we’re thankful for and dig into the turkey and cranberry sauce. That’s the sermon we’re accustomed to, but realistically it may be less than the truthful narrative that takes place on the last Thursday of the month.More believable is this ironic quip attributed to Ram Dass, the American teacher of spirituality popular in the 1970s: “If you think you’re enlightened, go visit your family.”For me the one-liner is more than a witticism, it is wise insight and a reminder that the gathering of families, including the relatively happy ones, evokes memories, rivalries and disappointments of childhood. And suddenly, without warning, there we are,...

18Nov

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The Senior Slant

I decide not to have an argument with my wife

Ah yes, the occasional squabble between husband and wife over some issue so unimportant it’s too embarrassing to admit, as in “You left the light on in the kitchen” or “Why didn’t you pick up the mail when I asked you to?” In reply, I have two options.Option one: “So I forgot… “followed by a pugnacious “What’s the big deal?” (Dumb! Don’t even think it! Pandora’s Box will open wide!).Option two: “Sorry, hon, I wasn’t thinking…” followed by “My bad, I’ll do it now.” (Smart! Realize wife worked all day. Quickly conclude a smidgeon of humble pie is zillion times preferable to pie thrown in face).Life is short, my friend! And I have learned time and time again that taking a stand over a petty issue is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person...

8Nov

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The Senior Slant

We are more than relevant, we are indispensable

I was watching Saturday Night Live recently, enjoying the skits, when the host introduced the evening’s musical guest, Young Thug. I listened, moved closer to the set and listened more intently. This was music?What had I missed along the way from Dick Haymes to Sam Cooke to the Beatles? Evidently, I went deaf after Whitney Houston. Lollapalooza comes to Chicago, and I know about two or three of the acts and ninety-seven are from Mars. Playboi Carti? Modest Mouse? I’m about as relevant as a party-line, wall-mounted, rotary telephone. But then I get to thinking. My parents, who shimmied to “Minnie the Moocher” and smooched to “The Way You Look Tonight,” must have thought I was lobotomized when I wore out the linoleum to “Twisting the Night Away.” (Let me explain, Mom, “Chickinsl...

27Oct

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Blog

Covers over my head or get out of bed?

There are days when I wake up feeling hopelessly despondent and about as relevant as a party-line, wall-mounted, rotary telephone. That’s my daily challenge, to resist the self-deprecating tendency to think I have nothing left to live for; no value to contribute; no purpose whatsoever for still hanging around.I have to remind myself that I am not suffering from the creeping hell of something like amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or living under a viaduct surviving by begging for quarters with a crumbling Starbucks cup.I take a shower instead of a pity bath. And as the disturbing headlines and distasteful tweets that greet us every morning grow in number, I take my place on the side of love.As I’ve grown older I’ve learned that vulnerability is strength, not a weak...